When I was younger, video games and cartoons were an incredibly large part of my life. I was the only child at home, and my school friends lived almost 20 minutes away by car, so I found social and mental stimulus almost entirely through the virtual worlds I explored on my Playstation. At the time, I was a bit of an anomaly and considered ‘nerdier’ than most of the other kids, but today’s world is entirely different. Technology is now unavoidable, and almost all children have access to it in some form or another.
As technology continues to become an integral part of our lives, it’s no surprise that children are spending more and more time in front of screens. Whether it’s watching videos, playing video games, or using apps, screen time has become a big part of most children’s daily routines. Unfortunately, many parents exist on one extreme or another when it comes to screen time; either forbidding it entirely or letting it reign over the lives of their kiddos. As a parent, it’s essential to understand the dos and don’ts of screen time and how to find a balance of good and bad.
DO: Set Priorities Instead of Limits
The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that children aged six and older should have no more than two hours of screen time per day. That being said, it doesn’t always seem to have the greatest effect when we simply limit our kiddos without providing further context. While some parents find success in simply limiting the hours of the day, some parents find that children push back when there is no greater reason than “because I said so”.
Rather than setting a ‘limit’, simply ensure they have other stuff that needs to take priority over their gaming or TV time. If a child gets home at 3 and goes to bed at 9, then that leaves 6 hours of available time. If you are able to fill 4 of that with dinner, family time, chores, homework and more educational activities, then that only leaves them with 2 hours – just as recommended! This is a more natural way to help set boundaries for your child, while also teaching them the importance of prioritizing things based on what’s most important.
DON’T: Use Screens as a Babysitter
Due to the addicting nature of the screen, it has proven to be an ‘easy-out’ for parents who need to occupy their child. While it’s tempting to use screens as a way to keep your child in one place while you attend to other tasks, relying too heavily on screens can be detrimental to your child’s development. Children need interaction and stimulation from their environment to develop properly, and screens can never replace human interaction. V
On top of this, virtual worlds are oftentimes meant to be fantastical and serve as an ‘escape’ from the real world, which is oftentimes harsh. If your child spends too much time in their virtual worlds, a disconnect begins to form in their minds between reality and virtual. This will encourage them to run to their virtual worlds whenever the “real world” gets too tough, which is where the basis of technology addiction starts.
So to do that, instead of using screens as a babysitter, find alternative activities that will engage your child and help them develop. Perhaps have them read a book, or play a board game with them. Maybe you can share your hobby of cooking or gardening with them to connect, or maybe they can help you with the task you’re trying to do in the first place? There’s no “one size fits all” answer, but it’s important to think creatively.
DO: Choose Age-Appropriate Content
Even as someone who advocates for video games being capable of great things for childhood development, even I know that some content exists that just don’t serve a purpose at all for kids. A common target I like to pick on is Grand Theft Auto, which is a game heavily rooted in performing acts of violence and crime with little to no reason behind them. There’s nothing wrong with the game – it’s a game meant for adults that are looking for entertainment only – but such a game shouldn’t be accessible for kids who will gain no good benefits from it whatsoever.
Not all screen time is created equal. Some content is educational, while others can be harmful to a child’s development. As a parent, it’s essential to choose age-appropriate content for your child. Look for educational games, apps, and videos that will engage your child and help them learn new skills. All games and TV shows having ratings attached and, oftentimes, an explanation of what makes a particular game receive a certain rating. Even if you don’t know video games in-depth, you can read the ratings and see what it is that makes certain games get a rated for teenagers and adults only. Staying well-informed is important for making sure your child is getting the most out of their screen time.
DON’T: Allow Screens Before Sleep or Other Important Tasks
Videos and video games are built to be addicting an easy to waste time on. As such, they are very skilled at overstimulating the chemical receptors in the brain, which is what makes them addicting in the first place. While there’s nothing wrong with that in a vacuum, it can become incredibly difficult to move the child to another activity when the need arises.
Children (especially younger ones) are susceptible to emotional overloads. If the activity you are forcing them to is less exciting than the screen time (which is heavily likely), they will often make it miserable for you because they don’t know how to regulate their emotions yet. This can often lead to parents getting burnt out, or even flat-out abandoning the more productive activity.
Make sure that when the child has something important coming up, like homework or an extracurricular activity, to wait on screen time. If instead, they are told to work on homework or chores (activities that kids generally don’t find as fun), then they will be much more eager and excited when the time for that activity comes around. This is much easier for mom and dad than the fight to rip them off the screens.
DO: Engage in Screen Time Together
While it’s essential to limit your child’s screen time, that doesn’t mean you can’t engage in screen time together. Watching a movie or playing a game with your child can be an excellent bonding experience and provide an opportunity for you to teach your child about healthy screen habits. In fact, many of the relatives I am closest to as an adult are the ones that took the time to learn and understand my interest in video games and play them with me; rather than those who avoided it.
This will also likely allow you to have a better understanding of what your child likes to watch, which will make you a better judge when it comes to what they should and shouldn’t be allowed to interact with as they’re developing. A game might be labeled as “violent”, but it could simply be because the child is playing a superhero who has to beat up bad guys and protect others. Those types of games can provide an excellent lesson in morality, which you may not have known about if you simply looked at the game from a surface-level.
DON’T: Allow Screens During Mealtime
Similar to our previous point, but screens during important activities is just as harmful as screens before important activities. An example of this is screens during mealtimes.
Screens at mealtimes can distract everyone and make if very difficult for your family to connect and communicate. Mealtime is a great opportunity for the family to come together and bond without the distractions of the day to get in the way. As a parent, it’s essential to set clear rules about when screens are allowed, and mealtime should be a screen-free zone.
Bedtime and homework time are other examples of when screens do more harm than good. No matter how good a kid may think they are at multitasking, watching TV while doing homework always leads to a slower and lower-quality outcome. TV at bedtime is similar, since all that blue light will lower the production of melatonin in the body and cause the child to stay awake longer than they otherwise would.
Everything In Moderation
Screen time can be both beneficial to a child’s growth and development; I would not be where I am today without it. That being said, it can quickly become detrimental if it used without any planning or restraint. As a parent, it’s essential to set clear rules and boundaries around screen time, choose age-appropriate content, and be involved in your child’s use and understanding of the digital world. By following these dos and don’ts, you can help your child develop healthy screen habits that will benefit them not only as children, but also well into their adult years.